This morning my Bible study focused on controlling your tongue. I was reminded of the power of words through the Proverbs, but then again this evening when I returned home.
I found some time I hadn't been expecting after work, but rather than getting to do something "special," it simply freed up my time for me to go to the store and get food. I realized as I scrambled to get the shopping done and get home before my daughter needed to eat again, thinking all the time of what needed to get done and in what order to get dinner done at a reasonable time, that my husband was at home. This in itself is not unusual; we often leave the gathering of V up to me to allow him some time at home to get things done. It was then I realized I never get time at home alone. I do not really wish it; I want to spend time with my family and working full time does not allow for much of that. But though I want to be with my family there is also the desire to have a little time to myself in my space to get things organized or to simply sit in my home and read a book without the clock breathing down my neck to get dinner cooked or get to bed or do the dishes or or or.
I recognize this is a desire of parents everywhere. I am not unique in it. And that is precisely my personal lesson for the day. When it was a thought in my head it was simply something to be discussed with my husband and a possible consideration for some afternoon or other, but when I got home it became something else. I started brooding and as soon as I spoke the words they were my worst enemy. What a consideration! To never have a moment's peace! The villainy! Then from there it got bigger, suddenly no one cared about how much I had to do or what my day looked like. No one wanted to know how I was doing.
As I forced myself to regain my good mood and composure I realized I had allowed myself to get worked up out of purely selfish motivations. Yes I can have time to myself, I simply need to talk to my husband about it. But as soon as I started complaining it took on a whole new life. The lies were flying all over. The spoken word has such power.
When I spend my time in thanksgiving, I am much easier to live with than when I wallow in self-pity and complaint.
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." Proverbs 18:21