Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Do not fear...

This week hits me hard every year. When I heard about Columbine's lockout on Monday, I got angry. I don't want students to have to deal with this stuff. They should be able to go to school every day without fear. As I wrestled with that, it struck me that we are one of the few nations that can boast such a freedom. And yet the true freedom from fear comes from one source.

We truly have no right to freedom from persecution or danger, but we do have freedom from fear. This is a difficult truth for me, I am ashamed to say. Perhaps that is why my youth pastor gave me Isaiah 41:10 as one of my three life verses when I graduated:

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Saturday, April 14, 2012

2 down...84 to go

I set out to use Lent as a time of preparation for this new season of life: Paul in nursing school. I don't know how successful I was. Mostly I don't know that you can fully prepare for something like this. I think I learned more in the first week than I did over Lent. The lesson that repeated, though, was that God is in control and His strength is the only way we can get through anything in our lives. Definitely what I need to remember.

I did not yet know the extent of my selfishness before this began. Truly. That is one thing I learned the first week. I probably still don't. Things were bumpy until I forced myself to think about all of this from Paul's perspective and encourage him the way he needs it. Not being surly but rub his shoulders, make meals, keep the coffee stocked. There are and will be other things we need to work through together, but the first lesson is learned: this isn't easy on either of us and part of my job is to help.

I actually have successfully prepared meals and kept the kitchen clean. I get to work mostly on time despite having to take V somewhere every day. I realize two weeks is nothing in light of 21 months, but it gives me hope for all of it. Only by God's strength, though, because by Thursday I'm beat! And only by His strength, presence and mercy can I continue to pour into my home all the encouragement, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, love and respect my man and baby girl need. 84 weeks? This is the rest of our lives!