a new policy

I have decided to take up the phrase: "I don't know what that means." My desire is to not just go through life pretending like I know everything everyone is talking about but to request information and receive it - keep learning and growing. Also along this line is "I don't understand, please explain."

I'm excited! Strangely it's not easy for me to admit when I don't understand something.

Sheep Proof of Creation?

Yesterday my pastor preached on John 10. In the course of the sermon he mentioned the well-documented idiocy of sheep. (I'm not sure sheep would appreciate it so much, but apparently it's everywhere, this truth.) They scatter without someone to guide them, food for wolves and other predators. It got me thinking. I've actually been thinking a lot lately about evolution and the fact that all of archaeology (non-Biblically based, that is) is grounded in evolution and the idea that man evolved, intelligence evolved, domesticating animals evolved, etc., etc.

So this is my thought: could sheep be a valid argument against evolution? How could there be sheep today if humans weren't smart enough to defend and guide them for millennium? What did sheep evolve from? Doubtlessly something even more stupid than they! Right? So you'd think they would have died off years ago - victims of survival of the fittest and death of the not-so-bright. Whereas in our belief system they have always been cared for (and sacrificed by) humans from the dawn of creation - humanity created with intelligence.

Well, I'm not going to write my first anthropological paper on it or anything, but I thought it was worth pondering....

M.R.E. anyone?

So I have a quandary. I need to find food I can take with me to campus that doesn't require refrigeration or heating. I eat a lot and I can't eat fast food and I don't have much money. So one thought I had was a standard issue Meal Ready to Eat! Primary problem is no hot water to re-hydrate them with. That and I can't imagine they're that tasty! Although I've heard that's not true. I did look at camping food (pricey much?) but most of that has cheese in some form within its plastic bagged limits.

Some thoughts

So looking at my budget today I realize that saving for something important but not vital (like a trip to Hawai'i) is tough on a tight budget. I was hoping to go in March after this madness called my life calms a bit, but I think it might have to wait until next year and then it seems like I should just wait until May of next year when I've finished all my math prereqs! Still hopeful, but also mindful of the savings account, you know...

I find calling people (who are paid to answer questions) makes finding the answer to a question a much quicker process!

I discovered (or re-discovered?) yesterday that I enjoy problem solving. Almost too much. (Though this isn't only a math-motivated enjoyment, I calculated - with Paul's help - that our 8 foot table that holds my dad's HO railroad is less than 1/7 of a mile in "their" world. You can ask Paul, I tried to figure this out almost all the way through dinner. It plagued me - and consequently him, too. Sorry!) **On a side note I think my parents need 2 things to make their railroad just the coolest ever! Rock climbers on their mountain and an archaeological dig on the outskirts of town!!!!!**

While talking to Paul last night I had a realization about our perception of humanity. All of Anthropology is based on the theory (or hypothesis) that mankind evolved as did intelligence, language and the written word. We believe mankind was created with intelligence. Therefore what do we believe about language and the written word? Clearly language evolves. Even today there are things we say they never had 10, 20, 30 years ago. I read Middle English aloud to understand it and Old English is foreign, but it's English. So at the Tower of Babel all these languages (the predecessors of our current tongues) were born. When did the written word evolve? By the time of Moses it exists - Pharaohs long had a written language, did the descendants of Abraham? or did they utilize hieroglyphics to develop their own after they moved to Egypt? I find myself intrigued. Perhaps one of you reading this knows the answer, esp. those of you who have studied Hebrew?

I had a thought earlier today that I thought would be so clever to share here...can't for the life of me remember what it was. My brain dumps unimportant information, I guess (along with the important) so you can rest assured it wasn't that important!

My hair

I got my hair cut (again) - I went in to the hair stylist of a bunch of friends of mine and told her to have fun - she did what she thought best after discussing it with me and my friend (Dani) who was so kind as to go with me. What do you think?

No longer good enough

Fear is a nasty business. It paralyzes and keeps us from doing what we want, what we're called to do. I have been realizing more and more lately how much fear has kept me from things. Though God has used me where I am and I enjoy what I do with my time, because of fear and ignorance I am 27 and still trying to figure out what I want to do in the long run. I'm readdressing thoughts and ideas I had 10 years ago. And they are still interesting to me. Why couldn't I do it then? Will I be able to do it now?

Fear has kept me from trying, being bold, stepping out. It's stopped me from being me, opening my mouth and speaking up for myself, my beliefs, the rights of those around me. It's stopped me from pursuing certain dreams, wearing certain outfits, and even eating certain foods. I am sick and tired of letting fear keep me from everything. I think of reasons not to instead of realizing that there is no harm in trying something new just to see if you'll like it or making a phone call to ask a question. It's crazy, but I might actually get an answer I was hoping for.

I will not let fear keep my heart from beating. I have not been given a spirit of fear or timidity. Fear shouldn't keep me from having conversations with those around me or saying yes when someone asks if I want to go do something I wouldn't normally do. Fear has kept me in my little bubble. But with God's strength - no more. No, it's not easy to break out of a mold you've shoved yourself into for over a decade. But it's not impossible. I can learn new things and try new things and talk to new people.

I'm even afraid this feeling will go away, and I'll retreat back into my safe place fully protected by all my fears. Safe be hanged! I'll tell you what I'm not afraid of: finding myself in a situation where my Savior and my God cannot reach me. I am eternally within His grasp: "The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms." Deuteronomy 33:27a