from WannabeGood Inc., CBCecil, founder
Need to find something and can't seem to locate it in your consumer-driven, organizationally-challenged life? You need the Find-O-Base! Catalog the location of everything you own in this easy-to-use database-o-stuff! Works just like the "Find" or "Go-to" features in Word or "Search" on your PC! Once everything you own is marked with our special tag - designed using modern military laser tagging technology - you can pull up the Find-O-Base and request the location of anything! Using the most advanced GPS technology, the friendly voiced Find-O-Base will direct you to the proper location.
Never again will you need to sit up nights pondering where you might have mislaid your favorite pair of pumps or that pesky iPod-Invisa! Simply call up the Find-O-Base and you will be reunited with your stuff in no time!
Find-O-Base is a trademark of WannabeGood Inc. Patent pending. Production based in NeverLand. Just 12 easy payments of $5,998.92 and the Find-O-Base is yours, including the tag-gun, Find-O-Base software, headset, and handheld computer! WannabeGood Inc. is not responsible for any gullible people reading this. Just look for the "Why Can I Never Find My Stuff??????" slogan for retail stores carrying the Find-O-Base!