I told a friend the other day I feel it may be sprinkling in my wilderness. A few cool drops of water. I struggle with the thought to run for cover. It is such a difficult thing to allow change - even for the better. I get so comfortable in my fear and stagnation. But it is dangerous and deadly here. There is no growth or serving of others.
By definition there is no shelter in the wilderness. Not aside from God, anyway. His wings shelter me. So even if I did want to run from the blessing of His refreshing, the only place I have is towards Him - into Him - like Lucy burying her face in Aslan's mane.
Lean into Him.
So I begin 2015 with a desire and a prayer. I desire to study God's word, and I pray He shows me
- how He sees me.
- Himself in truth, not distorted by my false sense of self.
- the truth about my role as mother and wife and ministry leader and friend and...
- how I can serve Him.
- whatever He wants to show me.
I am returning to Paul's letters, passages I once knew so well, to see what they have to say with fresh eyes. My children will one day encounter the sorts of things Paul writes about. How beautiful, then, that he also writes about how we, as believers, can prepare for, combat, defeat the enemy set out to destroy us. These are the things my children and I need to be trained in - the ways of the Lord.
As my understanding of the Father grows and the few drops of water become a proper rainfall in this wilderness, flowers will begin to bud and bloom. There is life here - even in the healing - even when it cannot be seen.