During my most recent Calculus meltdown (and the subsequent calm after the storm), I had a realization. I cannot do math as I have always done it. I can't just "get by," processing much like a calculator: input, output. I need to know it and how to use it and how to break it down. So I can't just sit in class, spend an hour doing my assigned homework (which isn't much) and nothing more. The reason I do math has changed. My method must as well.