2012

Ladies and gentlefolk, I greet you on this fine January 30. Another year has passed for the Christians, est. January 30, 2010, and we wish you, each and every one, a fine new year full of blessings and joys.

Our third year of marriage saw quite a few changes including a move (Verity got her own room), Paul's start in nursing school, my finish of six years of volunteer service in the high school group at church, Verity sat up, crawled, stood up, walked, spoke...she's had a lot of firsts this year, including her first birthday!

November also saw a beginning for me, as I relaunched my photography business, now Carey Christian Photography, after nearly a decade. Paul continues to work at Craig Hospital when he gets a chance between classes and studies. God has been very gracious in Paul's hours and pay as well as his schedule. We see a lot of him, which, of course makes us happy. There are days when he doesn't see Verity at all, but those are few. I continue my work at Southern Gables Church with few changes. Verity continues her work shuffling between grandparents' homes and being cute and lovable. She is gracious in the midst of constant change, although she is screaming, a habit we are discouraging at the moment.

She is eating all sorts of foods, green beans being the current and unexpected favorite. Butternut squash, avocado, black beans and chicken sausage also rank at the top. She is always trying to dress herself and telling the most delightful stories, although we cannot understand any of it.

We spent most of the year at home, though got visits from precious family. Verity and I went to Texas in November for the wedding of my cousin Christy. I enjoyed seeing family, though I did not much care for missing the wedding (and causing my mother to miss the wedding) due to illness. But the Lord was gracious and Verity was a saint on the plane going both directions.

As we look forward to all 2013 has to hold, including Verity's second birthday and Paul's graduation in December among other celebrations and challenges, we are thankful for the family that supports us. Both of our sets of parents sacrifice so much to watch Verity while I am at work and Paul studies. We can never fully thank them, so Verity does that for us. We pray they are blessed in abundance as God has used them to bless us in so many ways! We are thankful for our friends who encourage and pray for us. We wish we could see more of people, but when we do we enjoy every minute of connection and laughter.

May your 2013 be blessed with family and friends, hands to hold, words to encourage, voices to laugh with and so much more than we could ever imagine from our great God and Father. If you think of us, pray with us that Paul will be diligent in his studies, learn well, and be encouraged by his wife and daughter. Pray that he continues to enter into life at home openly and finds time to unwind as well as study. Pray for Verity's growth and health, schedule and personality. As she interacts with others, may they be blessed. Pray for me as I work at church, may I be a blessing to the people and ministries there. Pray for me as I hopefully meet new people through photography, that I will be a light shining in their lives, even if only for a brief couple of hours. Pray for me as a wife and mother, that I have the patience, grace, compassion and strength from God above to do everything I need to do and let go of the things I simply cannot do.

Feel free to send us your prayer needs so we can encourage and support you and yours this year!

Love from the Paul Christians!

Designed for a purpose

As a special treat today, I was able to take an hour out of my work day and attend Mi2, a group for moms that meets twice a month at our church. As a mom who works full time outside the home as well as inside, I don't get to spend much time with other moms. Not even my own. Most moms, I would venture to say, feel some level of isolation due to their occupation - spending enormous amounts of time with those "mini adults" - and the demands it puts on their time - bed time, nap time, play time, dining times, etc., etc. Then there are those moms who also work outside the home. The isolation changes because their time is now divided. They get interaction with adults, but still not the interaction they necessarily need.

What do I mean by that?

Humans need to know they are not alone. As we battle through day-to-day living, we can begin to collapse under the weight of it, especially if we feel isolated, like no one knows what we're going through. This is true of everyone. Now take a mom. There are 24 usable hours in every day. Most of us would love to be asleep for at least 8 of those hours, but we'll be a little more realistic and call it 6 (that is a really good night). If a mom gets up before her kids, let's say she's up by 6, so she went to bed sometime around midnight, but probably before because her precious 6 hours was broken up by needs. OK, so it's 6. Now she gets ready for her day and then she spends it with her kids, caring for her kids, cooking for her kids, cleaning up after her kids, going shopping with her kids, eating with her kids, putting her kids to bed and then hopefully taking a little time for herself from 8 until she collapses into bed. And for most women there is a husband that goes along with all this madness. And I mean madness in a good way.

Take a mom who also works outside the home. She gets up at 6, gets ready, gets her kids ready, takes her kids to their care-takers or school, runs to work, works with people who aren't necessarily interested in what her plans are for dinner, what her daughter said that morning that was so cute, or anything else for that matter, picks her kids up, cooks, eats, spends a few minutes playing, puts her kids to bed and then hopefully takes a little time for herself from 8 until... You get the picture.

Sleep. Wake. Repeat.

Hopefully in the midst of all of this there is a phone call, an email, a coffee date, someone to eat lunch with, etc., someone, anyone, who cares about this mom - stay at home or no - and can listen, pray, laugh, cry, and simply be there for her. We need each other.

But here's what I learned this morning. Get ready because it's big.

I am designed for my life. I was created as a help-meet for my husband, the good man that he is. I was blessed with the privilege to bear our child, and I have the compassion, love, care and instinct to care for her. BUT ONLY WITH GOD'S HELP. He clothes me with strength and dignity (Pr. 31:25); He gives me the ability to speak with wisdom and kindness (Pr. 31:26); He designed me, He goes before me, He upholds me. Being a wife and mother can be exhausting. We are always on-call, rarely acknowledged, often sleep-deprived, and at times (for some of us most of the time) worried. But God designed us to be that encouragement and burst of confidence our husbands need. He designed us to be the band-aid dispenser and professional cuddler while also teaching good manners and living a life of example before our children. He gives us the energy, the drive, the rest, and the HELP we need.

So that is what I realized this morning. I cannot do anything apart from Him. Why do I think my marriage and parenting would be any different? I cannot allow myself to feel or remain isolated. There are a lot of women who are in the same place I am, or who have been there. Women who can walk alongside me and remind me of who I am, what I have been given to do, and that every day, every challenge, every heartache and joy is one more opportunity to love, be joy-filled, peaceful, patient, kind, good, gentle, faithful, self-controlled; opportunities for me to point back to my creator who gives me all I need.

Some things one might not think of

As a mom working outside the home, I have learned that there are challenges I did not expect.

1. I actually socialize with my parents and in-laws less than I'd sometimes like. At first I thought it was great because I was seeing so much of them, since we are blessed to have them as our full time child care providers. Then I began to realize that it was like living in proximity to a grandparent that isn't quite far enough away. You get frequent visits, but not lengthy ones.

This is due in part to their having taken care of a child all day, I imagine, and partly they don't want to "keep me." These are valid, but I miss actually sitting down to talk.

2. (not unexpected, since we feel busy in every age and stage of life) I often feel rushed and if I stop for too long I'm being selfish or missing something I should be doing. I don't handle this well.

3. I am starting to really feel the effects of not being with friends. People think, because I work full time, I need all my free time with my husband and daughter. I agree that time with my family is important and I don't get as much as I'd like, but we need time with other people, too. If we are left in isolation then we are left to parent alone and we need others to help us be better people, better parents and a better couple.

I enjoy my time alone with my daughter, and the times we get to hang out as a family, but I also enjoy time with my daughter when I have friends and family around. So I am thankful for the friends we do see and the times we get to spend more than five minutes with our families.

When I grow up...

Of all the blogs I have waiting in the wings to finish, this is the one that seems the most important.

As our daughter grows up before someone else's eyes, I struggle with the reality that I am her mom. Little things remind me and encourage me, such as: when I realize Paul and I change more diapers on average, the strained "Mama" I hear at 6:30 a.m., and the fact that no matter how recently she's eaten, she is always hungry when I pick her up at the end of the day. On the whole, though, I am usually fighting the feeling that I am simply a night-watchman, a babysitter, or a wet nurse to this precious child.

A major source of encouragement comes from those loving hearts that are watching her grow and change: my parents. Not just the couple that raised me, but the couple that raised my husband as well. When I say something particularly discouraging, they endeavor to express to me that what is happening is normal and assure me I am doing OK. They always talk about how delightful she is and share stories of her day with me. Although they each have had their experiences raising five children, they always ask me before they expose our daughter to something new, be it experience or food (which really is an experience in itself). The most amazing thing is that when I start talking about what I'm learning and how I want to do this or that, they listen and don't rush to say, "I know" or explain why I'm off my rocker (and believe me, they know everything I'm telling them and they have their opinions). Between them they've raised 10 kids, and they patiently listen to me tell them how to raise our daughter. For a know-it-all, this is a humbling realization that literally (right this moment) brings tears to my eyes.

So here I am 30 years old still learning from my parents. I am so thankful to have them to learn from and always serve as an example of how I want to be when I grow up: patient, understanding, loving, knowledgeable, teachable, giving.

4:9

"What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me-practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:9

What does my daughter see and hear? What will she learn? We dedicated our daughter publicly on Sunday. One of the verses we chose for her was Philippians 4:8. All day today I kept thinking about 4:9. This is what we would like to be able to tell her. Live such that she can practice her life as she sees us living ours out. Wow.

I am so thankful, as I know Paul is, for family and friends who will not only help us live as we ought, but will also be examples themselves for our daughter all her life.

Disney World!

Vacation this year was a Christian family trip to Walt Disney World. All but Stephen were able to make it. It was hot, humid, and absolutely fabulous. Here are a few pictures.

The United Kingdom at Epcot

China at Epcot

I'm not going to lie, I got really, really happy when we got to the Magic Kingdom.

Our last day Paul was gracious enough to allow me to pick where we went and... we went back to the Magic Kingdom :o)

I still believe

cancer. death. famine. no water. earthquakes. school shootings.

heard this lyric play on my computer after I read of yet another person's suffering:

"I still believe in Your faithfulness"*

and I do.

*I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp

Over so quickly

So much preparation for something over so quickly. I wore the dress once, ate one slice of the cake, smiled a lot of smiles; we didn't exit the ceremony as we'd planned, didn't dance nearly enough...but in spite of all the planning and all the dreaming, it happened as it was supposed to. It was perfect. Yet it was over so quickly.

What of life?

Over so quickly.... But not.

This week I lost someone very important to me. I don't think she knew how much. And when I think back on who she was and the few short years I truly knew her, I relearn a much needed lesson: THIS life is so much preparation for something that NEVER ends: eternity.

Texas!

My niece Kathryn turned one year old on October 4th. Paul and I went and visited her and her family (my brother David and his wife, Amy, and their son, William). It was great seeing all of them again - especially getting to play trains with William and laugh with Kathryn.

We read and relaxed and went to a street fair. College Station isn't far from them, so we went to the George Bush Library and Museum as well (and got to see my cousin).

I had a great time and got a fresh perspective on some constant thoughts and ponderings, which is always nice! (Thanks, David!)

I always love seeing family and this trip was a real treat for me!

Class of 2008, you are dismissed!

My brother Stephen graduated from the United States Air Force Academy on Wednesday, May 28th. I am proud of him. I have loaded a few pictures and will load more as I get a few minutes to do so each evening. Please take a look - click on the link, from there you can view the "USAFA Graduation" and "Breckenridge" albums.

This has been one of the most memorable weeks of my life, one of those pivotal moments, it seems, in more ways than one. I am praising God for my family, His faithfulness to us, and the gifts He gives me each and every day. I am so thankful Paul was able to join me this week in celebrating with my family. I am thankful for Paul. I was reminded Sunday of the vital importance of praising God for all He gives. I praise Him for all my friends and family, people without whom I wouldn't be who I am or where I am.