Happy Christmas 2008

Christmas Eve. 2008. Why do I have nothing to say? Usually at this time of year I am waxing eloquent about something. At the moment, my brain is fried. I'm tired. Not just this evening but over-all. I sit here pondering 2008 and wonder what I missed. My brother graduated from USAFA, I went to Salt Lake City for a youth conference, my best friend had a baby the day before I turned 27, I've gone back to school very part-time. I nearly moved out but realized I wanted to be teaching before I'm 35. I went to TX with Paul for Kathryn's first b'day. And I've really enjoyed hanging out with the teenagers in my life.

One of my greatest accomplishments of 2008 seems to be buying a pair of knee-high boots. My book writing is at a stand-still. But I re-arranged my room.

It's been a year.

Are you ever at a complete loss for words? I thought, sitting here, staring at my tree and listening to pretty music I would be able to wax eloquent once again about the year and the future and the season. But here I sit, not sure if I'm stuffed or hungry, wondering what to write and kind of wishing I were asleep, but not really wanting to go to bed. Tomorrow, somehow, the magic ends.

What do I get to expect of 2009? All sorts of things. My brother Brien is getting married, I'm taking Calculus and a million other math classes, my ten-year reunion is in August, I'll turn 28, I'll have a new niece or nephew, I'm probably going to take a weekend jaunt to Hawai'i, and I would love to at least get a trip to Greece planned (maybe for early 2010?). I'd like to finish writing at least one of my books as well (in fact I don't make New Years Resolutions, but I did pinky promise one of my seniors that I'll have more than one chapter for her to read for me by the time she graduates). Truth is I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know a few things. God is in control. He is at work. He is faithful. He loves me. No matter how dark the night (or the day), or how still the whispers, He is with me, guiding me, teaching me. I see this so clearly in those I sit across the table with in Starbucks. Oh how much I've learned - from my girls, Paul, Jen and other friends.

So bring on 2009 with all its joys and sorrows. I've got great friends who can and will stand by me through anything, a family that is far too good in many ways, and a Savior who calms the storms, heals the hurts, and is a Light piercing the darkness of all I see around me. I close this rather strange end-of-the-year letter with this: thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness not only to me but to each and every one of the men and women in my life that don't simply survive but live their lives for You and stand strong against the cold darkness that threatens to still our beating hearts. Help us to stand so together.

Happy Christmas and Merry New Year my friends and family! I truly mean that and hope you get lots of hugs and smiles this weekend, the rest of this year and all through 2009!

It is difficult...

I have attempted to write a blog entry for a number of weeks now, and as I sit to compose it, my words fail me. There is so much going on in my heart and in my head that it seems impossible to narrow it all down to one simple post.

December has been full and wonderful. I sat in on some wonderful music at two separate orchestra concerts that Paul was in, enjoyed a night with the high school ministry I'm a part of, eating, laughing, and singing, was honored, along with Paul, to be the guest of my grandmom at the Madrigal Banquet at Glen Eyrie, was one of 6 women who spoke at a tea at my church for just under 400 women - I spoke on the Joy of Christmas - and have taken a long walk on a snowy night. That was simply the first week of December. Since then I have attended 2 Christmas parties, participated in a Children's Pageant (as drama coach), seen a wonderful marionette production entitled "The Puppet Maker" by David Simpich, had some scrumptious lunches, met with some wonderful high school girls, and am now preparing for my last party of the season.

As I wait for my head to stop spinning and my heart to calm down, I watch the world around me running red lights and cramming stores and wonder why we do it all. In the midst of joyous song and laughter there is frustration, stress, and short tempers. We desire the holiday to be just right, as perfect as we can make it, when that is impossible. All that matters are the friends and family we have around us, the opportunities we have to serve our fellow beings, the small moments that make perfect moments as we sit and enjoy quiet evenings together, remembering why we celebrate this holiday.

The Joy of Christmas is salvation! Immanuel - God with us! Jesus' birth - God as man - for the purpose of saving the lost. We celebrate the ultimate gift this upcoming Tuesday. Let's not lose focus of that.

So Merry Christmas, my dear friends and family! I celebrate our wonderful God; I praise Him for Christ; I praise Him for life; I praise Him for you!